Monthly Archives: January 2013

Who’s That Girl? Gwyneth vs. Jeanne

Every week Amil Niazi styles the Robber mannequins and then takes you on a sartorial spirit quest, finding the stories buried in the silk and wool. Each week, check out her modern fairytales and then vote for your favourite!

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Oh Gwyneth you glorious bitch, look at you standing there in your Shabd silk tank ($299 $150), Nomia slouch tie pants ($349 $225) and Iacoli & McAllister necklace ($65), silently judging other women for being alcoholic gluten-heads with flabby arms and regularly-named children. I don’t know how you get away with saying things like, “I prefer organic Nepalese air-dried tomatoes to the standard western sun-dried alternative,” but you do! Do you ever laugh though Gwyneth? Do you ever unbutton the top button of your pants when you’re sitting at your desk because it’s kind of thrilling and you kind of ate too much chicken-fried rice today? DO YOU? Gwyneth we know you’re perfect but do YOU know that there’s no such thing as perfect? And do you think I could get the recipe for that kale and chia quinoa loaf you’re ALWAYS talking about? I want to invite you to my party Gwyn, can I call you Gwyn?, but I’m only using paper plates this month and I don’t feel like explaining myself to you all night. Cute top though.

Spirit animal: Ms. Goop herself
Power song: Uptight Good Woman by Solomon Burke

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The thing is it’s supposed to be pronounced Gee-Anne but ever since she caught a late-night repeat of Fashion Television she’s been telling everyone to call her Gee-nee because she’d never met another Jeanne before and this one was just so, I don’t even know, “razmatazz” about everything so how could she keep calling herself Gee-Anne? She keeps little mantras like “Be who you are, not who you should be” on tiny scraps of paper in her purse, not in a cheesy way but in a motivational, millenial, Michelle Obama-kind of way. People at work used to think she was a pushover until she told Bob one day that goddammit he should get his own coffee because she wasn’t an intern and now everyone thinks she’s kind of bad-ass which she took as a cue that she could start wearing neon to work. Why don’t you tell Bob what you think of his attitude in your own Jeanne-inspired Luna blouse by Dace ($189 $140), Shabd silk pocket skirt ($399 $199), and Maude & Colette little long geo necklace ($95).

Spirit animal: Jeanne Friggin’ Beker
Power song: Lagerfeld Lady by Fritz Helder and the Phantoms

So who won you over this week, Gwyneth or Jeanne? Scroll down for the poll!

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Goodbye menswear

BIG NEWS: as of Spring/Summer 2013, we’re going back to our roots and focusing only on womenswear at Robber! We’ll miss helping all the men look good, but we’re super-excited about all the upcoming additions to the women’s side. To help with this transition we’ll be CLOSED next Monday (Jan. 21st) through Thursday (Jan. 24th), and our MENSWEAR BLOWOUT SALE will start Friday Jan. 25th with up to 80% off all men’s stock!! We’ve made even more markdowns on the women’s side too, so everyone wins!

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Thanks for all your support and see you this weekend or next!!

Dressing for Winter

One day it’s 1 degree Celsius, the next it’s -10, repeat. Are you guys bored of wearing pants yet? I am (jk I am extremely loyal to my pants) but sometimes you gotta branch out! We’ve got lots of pretty little dresses that will keep you looking tip top but also warm! It’s true, dresses can be WARM! If done right. For example:

The Steven Alan Dominga Dress in Navy/Charcoal stripe, $325, $165! It’s a wool blend so it’ll keep you nice and cozy.

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Yikes, you might see this and say “Sleeveless! You’re nuts” but I disagree, I am brilliant. Throw the Rittenhouse Backwards Silk Blouse in Nude, $329, $215 underneath for a super sweet look. Just imagine that little collar poking out, how perfect?

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Are you still cold you big baby? Steven Alan is back to save the day. The Azteca Cardigan, $289, $145 will do the job.

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And obviously TIGHTS!

Who’s That Girl? Brenda vs. Kelly

Every week Amil Niazi styles the Robber mannequins and then takes you on a sartorial spirit quest, finding the stories buried in the silk and wool. Each week, check out her modern fairytales and then vote for your favourite!

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Remember in the O.G. 90210 prom episode when Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh both wore the same terrible black and white dress to the dance?! Was it not just like, THE MOST? Personally I didn’t really buy that cause could they be more different? You are either a Kelly OR a Brenda you cannot be both. I know you’re not even trying to think about dressing up for another party now that it’s January and winter is so annoyingly here, but the world goes on my friend, there are birthdays and dinners and dates to think about. So be a Brenda in this open back kimono dress by Wren ($349) and Cursive Design compass necklace ($65). Because you know Brenda is like, “Oh the prom is black-and-white themed and I’m the only one in neon green? My bad!” Plus, she is for sure going to Paris after prom to forget about Dylan so don’t even bother asking her about her summer plans.

Spirit animal: Charmed-era Shannon Doherty when she was slightly less insane
Power Song: Color Me Badd’s I wanna Sex You Up 

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Can’t you just see Kelly showing up to prom in this super-tight velvet dress being all, “Oops sorry Brenda did you have a crush on Dylan? If you had just told me I wouldn’t have asked him to prom!” Yeah right, Kelly. That was a harsh move but I can’t even hate on that sweetheart neckline (Lover Equinox dress, $365 $150) and the double-choker (Maude & Colette 1/5 dip necklace, $75 and brass love knot, $110). And even though Steve Sanders is already telling everyone you guys frenched under the bleachers and Dylan can’t stop staring at Brenda’s crazy green dress, you’ve been crowned Prom Queen again so at least your tears will be tinged with tiara.

Spirit animal: Newly healthy and happy Jennie Garth who is so over that Twilight guy already
Power Song: It’s My Party by Lesley Gore

So who won you over this week, Brenda or Kelly? Scroll down for the poll!

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